Helping Your Teen Effectively Deal with Bullying

Bullying is something that is unfortunately happening far too often in our society. Gone are the days where there were a few bullies per school who picked on kids but were kept in place by teachers and societal norms.

The innovation of modern technology, although it has benefits, has brought along with it some very negative circumstances – one of them being widespread bullying. Here is how you as a parent can help your teen deal with this difficult situation.

Why Do People Bully?

Bullying happens when someone directs their hurt, anger and frustration at another individual. Perhaps the bully feels invisible, and is being ignored or hurt by important people in their lives.

Low self-esteem, difficult home situations, jealousy and intolerant ways of thinking can cause an individual to use bullying as their way to relieve their anger or make themselves feel more important by belittling others. There are as many reasons for bullying as there are bullies.

Why Does Bullying Seem to Be So Common?

Bullying has always been around, but with the creation and popularity of the internet and social media, it has grown out of hand. Instead of teens being able to escape bullying when they leave school or extracurricular activities, their issues follow them everywhere. Online stalking is becoming more common, where bullies will follow and harass their victims and refuse to leave them alone at any time.

Another reason for the amped-up bullying that is taking place can be attributed to more interactions among people, which can lead to attacks on people for what they believe by small-minded individuals.

What Bullying Does to a Child

Being bullied lowers a child’s self-esteem. It causes them to feel insecure, and is a catalyst for depression and anger. Bullying can eventually lead to the victim becoming a bully, in an attempt to take back the power from those who hurt them.

Teens who are bullied begin to find it difficult to trust anyone, and this feeling often lasts into adulthood.

How to Help Your Bullied Child

Teach your child about their rights as an individual. If your child is being discriminated against and made to feel unsafe, the law is on their side. Hate crimes are illegal. Every teen has the right to feel safe and secure, and free from the threat of violence.

If your teen is being bullied, contact the appropriate authorities, whether that is the authorities at school or the police. Train your child in the proper way to deal with bullies, and role play different scenarios to assist your child in finding their voice and means of fighting back.

Monitor your child’s internet use, and ensure that he (or she) is not being threatened or intimidated by others. Above all, teach your teen to trust his intuition. If he is responding to bulling in a proper way, but begins to realize that it is not working, let him know that it is ok to change his course of action partway through an interaction.

If your teen is being bullied, you are his greatest advocate. Use your voice to stand up for your child, and be his safe place to land when he needs someone to talk to. Let your teen know that he is important and worth protecting.

 

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Helping Your Teen Deal with Conflict in a Positive Manner

Conflict is difficult to deal with, and it is especially tough in the adolescent years. Your child is already going through many changes in their body and mind. Conflict simply adds another complex layer to a time in life where things may already feel as though they are in an upheaval.

By supporting your child through any conflict they find themselves in, you can be a stabilizing voice in their life. Here is how you can help your teen deal with conflict in a way that will help them to push through the tough times and find their way to a better place in life.

Learning from Mistakes

Always remind your teen that although conflict is laborious, it is a sure way to learn different kinds of lessons. We can all learn from our mistakes. This means we can explore and find a tangible lesson, and then go forward while being able to avoid the same pitfalls in the future.

Using Conflict to Learn about Themselves

When there has been a disagreement, it is a rare opportunity to search inward and learn about oneself. There are many lessons you can find if you are determined to learn them, and this is important for teens to realize.
Maybe your teen will come to the awareness that he (or she) does not fight in a fair manner, or that he holds his feelings in until he bursts in a dramatic way. Or maybe he will find something positive, such as his strength when forced to stand alone on an issue.

Using Conflict to Learn about Others

Conflict is a great way to learn about others. Your teen can learn about what kinds of friends, family and other individuals are in their lives based on how conflicts arise and play out. Teach your teen to decipher whether the other party is still supportive during conflict, or whether they are using it as an opportunity to push your teen down. Is the other party fair and honest, or angry and deceitful? Conflict will reveal all.

Using Conflict as a Springboard to New Opportunities

It is said that unless we grow uncomfortable where we are, we never have the motive necessary to make changes. Conflict can sometimes cause your teen to want to move beyond where they are at the moment.

Maybe being in constant conflict with their boss will push them out of their current workplace and into the job of their dreams. Perhaps conflict experienced with a current boyfriend will prove to your daughter that she deserves better in a partner, and will prompt her to break up and move on.

Be an Emotional Support

During times of conflict, your teen will need your unconditional love and support. Be a strong role model and teacher of how to deal with negative encounters, and most of all let your teen know you will always be there for them.

Spend quality time with your teen and help them get their mind off of their problems. Know when to discuss, and when to suggest taking a mental health break and heading to the mall to grab an ice cream together.

Conflict will be difficult for your child because conflict is difficult for everyone. You will be one of the main guiding supports for your child as they navigate it. Use this opportunity to teach your child about growth, friendship and self-care, and they will keep those lessons for life.

 

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